Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The puppet of a bitch?

Recently I had cause to visit a friend in hospital. She’s in a bad way physically because of broken bones – and cannot get out of bed until the bones have begun to knit properly. She finds most of the staff are wonderfully helpful. If she needs to buzz for assistance they arrive as soon as possible and attend quickly and gently to whatever is required. Except for one.

On arrival at my last visit my friend was fuming about the “attitude” of the night sister. Any time she buzzed for help the said carer would enter the room aggressively and demand “What do you want?” or, “What do you want now?” In the little ward it got so that no one wanted to ask for help. When, on one occasion, the bedpan did finally arrive, she had an accident and the urine went onto the sheets.

I’m not sure whether there was a refusal to help or if it was reluctance to ask for help on the part of my friend. Whichever it was, she lay in her own urine for hours and got variously distressed, depressed and angry.

(Her anger reminded me of a day when I went to pick up my dad from his gardening job at the local convent. When I got there he had steam coming out of his ears. He’d caught some girls from the boarding school in his garden – and they’d set alight his compost heap!)

When my friend told me her story with the night nurse I was reminded of a story Pastor Larry Christenson told when he and a fellow Pastor went to buy a newspaper in New York. His colleague went to the same newsstand every day. And each day the man selling papers would abuse him, bucket him, call him names, curse him and so on. All apparently brought on by the dog-collar!

Larry was with him one day and witnessed the whole thing. His friend listened to the tirade, handed over his money with a smile, said thank you, and went on his way. Larry was astounded. “How can you let that man do that to you and say nothing?” He was even more astounded by his friends reply; “You do not lose your peace over someone else’s sin, you only lose it over your own!”

I heard that years ago and it’s slowly working its way into by conscious responses. I told my bed-ridden friend this story and added a line of my own. “You do not lose your peace over someone else’s bitchy behaviour. You only lose it over your own. If you do lose your peace to her then you become a puppet of the bitch!”

We shared a little smile over the truth which challenged both of us. We’d heard Jesus’ voice! Our responses are our choice! So let’s not surrender to the tyranny (or the tantrums) of the weak!

“Blessed are the peacemakers…”

“Father forgive them, they know not what they do…”

“Love your enemies… do good to those who hate you…”


Have a good week

Pastor Fred

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