CP 175 Are we there yet?

CP 175 Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we th…. !!!

Yesterday I chanced to be seated in the back seat of one of these flash new cars which has a drop-down-from-the-ceiling screen for games / DVDs. We (5 adults, 4 of whom now have adult children) were instantly reminded of the days when our kids used to drive us nuts from the back seat with their, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” What was particularly galling was that the blighters would begin asking that irritating question when we were just 20 minutes into a 10 hour trip! Modern families don’t have a clue how good they have it!

As often happens, the words found their way into my semi-dream, semi-sleep as I lay in bed this morning. I started to think of what it must be like for our Lord God to have his people in his ear like that all the time, every day. A bit later it occurred to me that Moses had to put up with constant whinging of the Israelites in the desert. They were grumping about the journey from Day One. From my reading of the story it doesn’t seem they ever got over their muttering and murmuring. Did you bring us out here to die? Don’t like this bread. There’s no water. I’m sick of quail. The leeks in Egypt were great. Why did you bring us here? Where’s God? Are we there yet? Why aren’t we there yet? Poor, poor Moses!

I hope the Lord is not sick of me and my questioning. In 1977, I was a vicar, (trainee pastor), with late Pastor John Sims. During a class he taught a longing came into my heart, which I put to Jesus Christ as a statement. “I want to know you. Lord, I know a lot about you, but I want to know you. I know you know me, but I want to know you. It became the heart-quest of my life. There trouble is, it still is my quest.

35 years ago I asked to know him. 35 years? Isn’t that long enough Lord? Yes people, I do think I have a sense of the Father’s heart. I’ve learnt much of that from the Calvary story and the New Testament. But, you know, I still struggle, every day, with what it means to know Jesus. Believe it or not, the other day I wrote a sort of personal psalm which I headed, “Death by non-sense”. Often it hurts. Many times I feel dead. Sometimes it does feel as though my Lord is killing me! So I keep asking…

I keep asking to know. I want to know. Why does it take so long Lord? Isn’t it your will? When will you answer my prayer? Why do I not ever feel some sense of your presence? Why do I find personal prayer difficult, if not impossible on some days? Why aren’t I there yet Lord? I keep asking…

The kids ask, “Are we there yet?” I suspect I’m not alone in asking why it sometimes / often / usually / always feels like our Lord is a million miles away and not responding. David wrote, “Why are you so far…?”

Ah, well, in his time. In his time.

Please know that I know I am ‘in Christ’. Yes, I am in the presence of Immanuel. He’s my Lord and I have no doubt that I’m on his radar. As my shepherd, he looks after me. As my rock, he’s the foundation of my life. He is my way, my truth and my life. He is my shelter in the storm. In him I’m forgiven. The scripture does not lie about these truths. My king is the king of the only eternally unshakeable kingdom. And yet, every day I ask to know him. I don’t believe I am an annoyance in his ear either.

You know what I have learned along the way? Among other things? The NT reference which triggered my searching, my quest, has four parts. Here it is:

“…I want to know Christ

and the power of his resurrection

and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings,

becoming like him in his death…” (Phil 3:10)

What did I learn? As the song says, you can’t have one without the other.

Be blessed in Christ Jesus the Lord.

Fred